Pajacis and His Fuzzlecakes

Once upon a time, there was a monster. He wasn’t your everyday, run of the mill, like to scare little kiddies kind of monster, though. Pajacis, was a big, fluffy, purple polka-dotted, friendly monster, with orange antennae, who liked to bake. Unfortunately, not many people gave him a chance.

He grew tired of making babies cry, creating loud noises, and frightening old ladies, so he decided to retire from the monster business altogether, and focus on his baking full time by moving away from the city.

First, he went over stone bridges, but they were too windy and all his flour was blown away.

Second, he went through green forests, but there was not enough room and his chocolate chips got knocked over.

Then, he went in blooming fields, but there were too many bees and his sugar started to disappear.

Finally, he went into a cave. There were many sparkly pebbles and golden pieces instead of his favourite rocks and moss, but he decided to stay there anyways.

Pajacis was making his first cake in the cave, when he received a visitor, a woman with a silver sword.

“Monster, let me pass!” said the woman.

Pajacis, thinking the woman was in need of some good home cooking, offered the stranger one of his cakes.

“Sure, but first have one of my fuzzlecakes,” said Pajacis, cheerfully.

It must be said, that Pajacis was not the greatest of bakers. Fuzzlecakes, in particular, were one of his worse baking inventions.

Made with dirt, soil, and flour, with a gooey bird poop and chocolate centre, these cakes were quite disgusting, to be honest. Not to mention, Pajacis topped the cakes with icing made of sugar, cow dung, and banana peels.

The woman with the shiny sword ate the cake, thinking the treasure was too close not to. Upon her first bite she ran screaming.

“Good, she must have thought it was so yummy she had to tell her friends,” thought Pajacis. Pajacis then set to work making two more fuzzlecakes.

The next day, Pajacis received his second visitor, a man in shiny armour.

“Monster, let me pass!” said the man.

“Sure, but first you must have one of my fuzzlecakes!” said Pajacis, excitedly.

The man sampled the cake, thinking it could not possibly be this easy to pass the monster to get to the treasure. However, once the cake hit his taste buds, he ran screaming, too.

“More business!” cried Pajacis.

The next day, Pajacis received his third visitor, a fuzzy, yellow striped monster, with one eye.

“Monster, let me pass!” said the monster.

“Sure, but first you must have one of my world-famous fuzzlecakes!” said Pajacis, gleaming.

The yellow monster took her first bite very slowly. But she did not run away screaming. She ate more!

“Mmm,” she said as she reached the bird poop filling. “This is the best cake I have ever tasted. It is even better than diamonds and gold nuggets! Can you make me another?”

And from that day on, Pajacis the purple polka-dotted monster, and Molly the yellow striped monster, lived happily ever after making fuzzlecakes. No one has come near to their treasure to this day, but there is a bake sale every couple weeks up in a cave, if you're interested.

The End.

This weekend, Samantha, Jessica and I made our own fuzzlecake. "Fuzzlecakes" actually originate from seventh grade, I think, when I did something that offended Jessica and she threatened that she'd make me eat a fuzzlecake. No one knew what that was, so she envisioned a cake made with bird poop. Yup, we were, and still are, pretty damn awesome. Here are the fruits of our labour: